After we leave elementary school, we as a unanimous whole, decide that February 14th is the day of the doomed. After we stopped receiving tiny cards from a box with a variety of 4 different patterns and a miniature candy taped to the back of it that was given to us due to obligation, Valentine’s Day became less about cards and more about heart ache.
Since I was a little girl, Valentine’s Day has always been my favorite holiday. What this holiday is to me is what Christmas is to majority of the country. And nearly every person who finds this tidbit out about me is shocked. How could I favor a day that is fueled by Hallmark and tears? This date that is a magnifying glass for loneliness?
So, on this Valentine’s Day, here’s what I have to say:
There are no victims when it comes to love. Heartbreak, loneliness, apathy, they are emotions that should never have been handcuffed to it. Love, is not a four-letter word. It causes no harm, it caused you no harm. Because love is not capable of damage. The emptiness you feel, the longing in your soul, the bruises you hold onto on your heart, they were created and contained in love’s absence.
So this day, designated to love’s presence, cannot possibly contain hurt. The only way this day can bring heartbreak…is if you refuse to celebrate it.
When you were a kid, what was your favorite thing about Valentine’s Day? Most of you will say handing out the Valentine’s cards to your classmates and friends, right?
That was when this holiday was innocent. When there was no societal stigma on being romantically alone. So my advice to you all, is remember the pride you had and excitement you felt walking into school that day. Hand written cards in tow, chest puffed out. Remember this, and then remember that your joy did not come from romance. When you went home to show your mom what was in your homemade mailbox, pouring out your bliss onto the table, it was not because you had someone there to light the candles and turn off the lights. Nowhere in loves description does it say between two lovers. Do not buy into what greeting card companies and lingerie shops are trying to sell you on. Love was never meant to be assigned. It just is – like water, let it flow to wherever and whomever it touches. And rejoice in its fluidity.
And lastly, before you let the melancholy swallow you whole, remember. Remember that the bliss you felt walking into your classroom door was never stemmed in the anticipation of what you would receive, but rather the unselfish elation of what you were about to give.
Maybe they didn’t send you roses this year. Maybe there will be no one to pull out your chair, to compliment your outfit, or to grab your hand as you walk. But darlings, remember, love can only be unselfish. So you mourn the lover you do not have, the invitation you did not get. But…if love cannot contain selfishness…and this day is made for love…What is there to grieve over?
Valentine’s Day was not created for you, or the love you did not get.
It exists only to celebrate the love you can give. And incase you don’t remember,
let me remind you – the love you are capable of offering is limitless.